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Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
- JUDGE #1: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
- JUDGE #2: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Utterly superb!
- ROLAND: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I messed my pants when I passed gas, and I'm worried it will eat through my clothing and then the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that snaggle-toothed Sally, she must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I want to wipe my butt with a snow cone!
Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
- JUDGE #1: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
- JUDGE #2: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Roland (Judge Number 3). He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
- ROLAND: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a darn thing. I've completely lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water and a siren. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like dung to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Heck with it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole out through my stomach.
Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili
- JUDGE #1: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
- JUDGE #2: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over, and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a really hot chili?
- ROLAND: (Cook-off Committee Chairman Note: Judge #3 was unable to report.)
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