Deciding How Your Incomes are Distributed After Marriage

After you're married, who gets how much, and by what plan?
You probably will not be able to decide finally on a plan of distributing your income before you are married. In fact, you may change your plan several times after you have been married for some years. But you ought at least to know what the possibilities are. Here are some of them for you to consider:

1. The "dole" system.
One person, usually but not always the husband, has complete control of the family purse. As the others, wife and children, want money, they go to him and ask for it, and he gives it as he sees fit. Do we need to point out the limitations of this? They are the same as the limitations of any dictatorship; the absence of a free companionship, and the ignoring of both the rights and the development of others.

2. The "family treasurer" system.
This works out some what like the dole system, but differs greatly in the spirit and nature of the relationship. Usually each member of the family who is old enough to handle money gets an allowance. The rest is turned over to either the husband or the wife, who does almost all the buying, pays all the bills, and other common expenses. If one of you enjoys and is good at handling money, while the other does not like to, and lacks the skill, this system may work out very well, provided it is based upon mutual agreement.

3. The "division of expenses" system.
Certain expenses are assigned to the husband, such as rent, upkeep of the car and his clothing, and others to the wife, such as food, utilities, and clothing for her and the children; and each is allotted enough to cover these. In some cases where both work and there are no children, each keeps his own earnings and the expenses are divided as if they were roommates.

4. The "rigid budget" system.
All the income is assigned in advance. These allocations will include items of common expense, such as food, taxes, payments on the house or rent, and personal allowances which will include clothing for each member of the family. Then there is no question, nor ifs, ands, or buts.

5. The difficulty with this system is that it is often too rigid.
To begin with, one month will vary considerably from another. Furthermore, it is sometimes difficult to cut up a clothing allotment, for example, on a monthly basis. A needed fall outfit may consume the budget for several months, and it would be difficult for a twelve-year-old girl, for example, to predict and plan for this. In short, it may prove too rigid to be workable, and thus abandoned. Every family should budget, but any good budget must have plenty of "give," for tight budgets are like tight shoes. If they hurt too much people will throw them away. Some items, like rent, may be the same from month to month, but others demand a high degree of flexibility. And it is always desirable to have some money not assigned at all which can be used, not only for emergencies, but for special purposes that may seem desirable.

6. The "joint bank account" system.
Usually this does not include the children, who are cared for by personal allowances. All the earnings of both husband and wife are de posited in a single account to which both have free access. In this case, of course, there is no need for allowances. Either one may pay any expenses, whether common or personal. In case of any large expenditure, as for a piano or a new car, they would consult each other and come to an agreement beforehand. This system has the advantage of great convenience. It will work well provided that neither is unduly extravagant, and the income runs consistently above their expenses. But unless the couple have more money than they want to spend, it, too, should be checked by a carefully considered, but flexible budget.

Whatever the system, whether through an allowance or access to the joint account, each member of the family old enough to handle money should have a certain amount which is his very own, which he may spend as he pleases without having to account for it to anyone else.

Have you carefully considered each other's spending preferences; where you would like to splurge and where you wish to save? The first real tiff which Hank and Marian had after their marriage was over what she regarded as his extravagance. Here she had been trying hard to save. She has passed up that gorgeous hat and that cute suit which looked as if it had been made just for her. And Hank was spending about six dollars a week on phonograph records, even though he already had over two hundred of them. Naturally she blew up. Hank, on his part, was hurt and puzzled. He loved good music. To him it was as if she had complained because he ate good food every week.

We need not go into the pros and cons of this particular scrap. We mention it to illustrate an important point which every engaged couple should go over before they marry; each other's spending preferences. Some people would rather see the money go into the house. Others prefer a better car. Some people like lots of books and magazines. Others would rather spend their money on clothes. One woman might wish a grand piano. Another will prefer a well-equipped kitchen. One husband turned over what he regarded as enough money to furnish the house to his wife and left for a two weeks' business trip. He returned to find the living room beautifully furnished, and an enviable stock of linens, but no chairs in the bedrooms. Don't take it for granted that the other person will want to spend money for what you think is important. You will save yourselves considerable grief by going over this whole problem together, well in advance of the wedding.

It is also worth considering how much you know about intelligent consumer buying? What books have you read? Are you familiar with the services available? Do you intend to subscribe to any of them?

At the present writing, if I take fifty cents into a store near our home, I can have two dozen small juice oranges. If I take it into another store, I can have three dozen of the same size and shape. In the first store, thirty cents means one package of dates. In the second store it means the same brand and package of dates, and a package of table salt. For one person, $150 is a radio. For another it is a better radio and a fifty-dollar wrist watch. It is hard for some people to believe that the most expensive is usually not the best. Those who will inform themselves can buy many items, from groceries, clothing, and furniture to insurance policies, for much less than others pay. They may have no more money, but they sometimes have a fourth to a third more real income, which is goods and services. Most families, of whatever income, could increase their income very materially by wise spending.

In recent years there have appeared a number of excellent books and pamphlets designed to aid the consumer, and at least two services to which consumers can subscribe, and receive regular reports on the merits of various products. Have you read any of these books and pamphlets? Are you familiar with any of the services? A careful review of this whole problem of consumer buying would not only make some of your dates profitable, but would be lots of fun, as well. As you get farther into the subject, you may feel that you will want to specialize. One of you look up and study certain kinds of items, and the other a different set. After you have been married a number of years you may want to bring your children in on this, also. But this lies still in the future.