How to Evaluate How Important Education is in a Marriage

How important is education to the future of your marriage's success? Many of our smartest and ablest men have had little schooling, and some men with degrees are quite stupid about some aspects of life. Yet formal schooling does have important advantages, such as the following:

1. Social standing.
Family and money may be socially important. Yet the person with education has more standing than he would have without it, and up to a certain point, the greater his education the higher his social standing.

2. Greater vocational opportunity leads to a higher income.
It is true that some milk drivers get more than most college professors and that a coal miner who works regularly tops ninety percent of our clergy. Yet on the whole, more education means more income. Many vocations, such as medicine, law, dentistry, and engineering are completely closed to the man without special training, and other vocations are rapidly adopting educational requirements. Whatever may have been the situation in the past, today the man without special training is at a decided vocational disadvantage.

3. Basic understanding for effective living.
Education can mean a better understanding of people and of the world we live in. In times past the politician, the taxi driver and the reporter may have understood life better than the psychologist and the sociologist. The business man often knew better what was coming than did the economist. This day is rapidly passing. We are developing a considerable body of technical, scientific knowledge about institutions and people. Those who are not so trained lack the basic understandings essential to effective living. Superior intelligence and alertness may, in part, compensate for lack of schooling. But do not let this fool you. The wisdom of the man who has only his own eyes and experiences is a limited wisdom which cannot function effectively in the kind of world which young people face today.

4. Success in marriage.
The higher the educational level a person has then the greater the chances for success in marriage. High school graduates divorce less frequently than do those of less schooling. College graduates stay married longer and more happily than others. In education as in many other matters, it is better if both are about equal.

Bill, who had never been beyond the eighth grade, and had few intellectual interests, passed up girls of his own educational level in favor of Mary. She had been to college, and read "intellectual" books. After their marriage he introduced her proudly to his friends, just as he might have shown off a ball-glove once used by Babe Ruth, or a personal letter from Tommy Dorsey. But before long, trouble began to develop. The wives of Bill's friends felt inferior and ill-at-ease in Mary's presence. She tried hard to be friendly and pleasant. But they always had the feeling that she was critical of their grammar and pronunciation, and began to feel that she was "stuck up." Naturally, Mary felt thwarted and hurt. Since she had no one with whom to share her intellectual interests, she felt isolated and alone. As time went on, she and Bill began to sense their lack of some important bases for companionship. He began to feel inferior about his own lacks, and tried to cover it up by being tough and sensitive. Whenever they were together, especially in company, she had to devote most of her attention to avoiding hurting his feelings. Neither dared to relax and be themselves, which is no way to enjoy a marriage relationship. Bill would have been far better off with a girl more like himself, with whom he felt fully at ease, and who would have fitted in better with his crowd. Because women are sometimes in an unfavorable bargaining position, a girl may have to take the man she can get, even though he is not her educational equal. With rare exceptions, this will not be true of the boy.

In this country almost anyone who wants education can get as much as he can handle. It is no disgrace if people do not want advanced schooling. Some young people ought not to go to college, yet may be quite as good as those who graduate. But they, like others, should usually marry within their own educational level without blaming their situation upon lack of opportunity. Certainly you should not use a promise to get more education after you marry, to persuade another to accept you. If you had to choose between a wholesome personality and character on the one hand, and education on the other, by all means choose the first. But any essential personality and character qualities can usually be found in someone of your own general educational level.