Ways to Increase Your Chances of
Success in Your Marriage

Success in any marriage relies heavily upon having sound and constructive attitudes toward love. Such understandings are difficult for Americans, especially because of the fictions which they have been taught since childhood, and which are supported by movies and other influences. Actually, the love upon which so many base their marriages is one or a combination of the following:

1. The appeal of the romance and adventure of marriage itself
2. The response to a person who reminds them of some one whom they have loved
3. The desire to escape from an unhappy situation
4. Consolation for failure or disappointment
5. Social pressures and/or the fear of being "left on the shelf"
6. Sex desire
7. Some minor point of attraction

Such forms of love are not false or fictitious. They are very real. Often they are intense enough to give a person an overwhelming feeling of certainty. Some of them, as nos. 1, 6 and 7 have a proper place in marriage. Their danger is that they are superficial. No one of them, nor all of them together, are strong enough to constitute the foundations of successful marriage. Yet they deceive people who believe that "love is enough" into choosing unsuitable mates.

It's quite natural that your relatives, especially your parents, should be interested in whom you marry. It is proper that they should propose possibilities and, within reasonable limits, even to campaign for them. They will do it, anyway. But do not let them, or anyone, push you into a marriage for which you are not ready. Above all, beware of the girl friend who tries to give you the impression that you have "led her on," and that, therefore, it is now your duty to marry her. The main difference between altar and halter is H.

On the question of taking your opportunities while you have a chance, it is difficult to give wise advice. Certainly it is unwise to marry just because everyone else is doing it, and you want to be in the swim of things. Some people, too, are willing to accept almost anybody for fear that otherwise they may be left on the shelf. On the other hand, some are so particular that they pass up, to their undying regret, the chance to marry really good people because they hope for some Prince Charming of their imaginations who will never come. That, also is too bad. Do not let it happen to you.

Love which can make a marriage rich and worth-while must be far deeper. It must be based upon such things as common interests, ideals, values, and goals which involve worthy purposes. A common desire to develop children is among the strongest and most important of these common goals. Such a love is not something which you "fall in" before you marry. It is rather, something which you build together through the years. Those who have found the sounder bases for love may expect that the thrill, glow, and romance of their marriage will increase with time. The richest joy of marriage comes from a relationship with each other which constantly develops and matures. The deepest and most abiding love is that which has become an expression of all life's experiences and meanings for you both.

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