"SHOULD I CHOOSE AN ART?"
Being a writer, painter, or musician is bound to increase your hold over women. If you have an independent income, or wealthy women friends, by all means choose an art. Affectionate females will flock to you.
1. Be a Writer?
If you have no special talent in any direction, choose a writing career. No real training or ability is necessary, and little expensive or messy equipment is required.
Anyone can write. If you have been told that you "write a fine letter" (and who has not?) then the battle is half over. You need only an old typewriter, a well-thumbed copy of Roget's Thesaurus, and a faraway look in your eye.
Women will gather like flies. Writers, you will discover, are to women what catnip is to cats.
You must remember, however, that every hour spent cooped up with a typewriter is an hour lost forever to your women friends. Squander these golden hours if you will, but they will not return.
2. Be a Painter?
Many will say, "We can't even write a letter!" If you are one of these, if you do not even know the elements of grammar (and many do not) you may either take to writing modern poetry, or more easily, be a painter. Art has come a long way since grandfather's day. No need to bother learning perspective, drawing, anatomy, or other technical details that used to make art so tedious. Be abstract! A good abstract painter with some bright colors and a ready tongue can do some mighty daring stuff and—what is more important—explain it.
Remember this easy rule: paint it first and explain it later. Starting with a preconceived idea is not only dangerous but may preoccupy you and interfere with your conversation in the studio.
Dress as though you had stepped out of one of your own paintings, a riot of gay colors. Contrasting shirt and slacks can be daubed carelessly with splashes of intermediate shades.
Use water colors. They dry quickly on the clothes and wash easily off face and hands.
3. Be a Musician?
Though it is true that music can melt fair hearts, it has not yet advanced to the point at which it can be mastered by everyone. Leave it alone. You face hours of boring practice, the buying of much expensive equipment, and the baleful looks of landlords and close neighbors. Socially your music will be a drawback. Everywhere you go you will be expected to perform, working away at a keyboard while the writer and artist are off in cozy corners pursuing their own ends.
"SHOULD I SEEM RICH?"
So many ask us, "Are women ever attracted by money?" The answer is, yes, they are. Most women need money, and if they think you have it, they will need you. If you have no money, seem to have it. If forced, on occasion, to show the color of it, be bold:
"Should have that much in change, darling, but every blasted sou is in escrow. Can't touch it till Epiphany."
Some believe that in courting wealthy women it is best to seem poor, on the ground that it will bring out a sort of financial mother instinct. This is not true. The warmest hearted woman is never sentimental where money is concerned. If she is rich, make it clear that money is of no concern to you. You are above it:
"Money! I'm bored with the whole idea of money, Jo."
"I know how you feel, Davie. I'm always afraid people are after my money."
"You, too? Mother always used to say, 'Davie, never let a girl know you're a Van Belt.' "
"Are you?"
"There, it slipped. Pretend I never said it, Jo. Twice removed, really. We've always tried to live simply."
