There are several weaknesses common to all women executives.
They should be thoroughly exploited.
Mutual Suspicion
All women executives are suspicious of all other women executives. This is because only a woman knows how dangerous another woman can be. They will never stick together for mutual protection. Instead, they will attack each other viciously if properly encouraged. Encourage them. For example, find a simple over-lapping of responsibility.
"Uh, J.B., I've decided where we can put the Invoices Returnable."
"Where, Strong?"
"Too much for either Miss La Tour or Miss Axel separately. Thought we'd just let them work together on it."
"Aren't you afraid that—"
"No problem! Regular team, those girls!"
Give them six or eight weeks and you will soon find which one is the stronger.
Lack of Maleness
Women executives—in fact, all women—lack the fine manly qualities of men. Use this against them. No matter what you are talking about with other males, try to create the impression that the woman executive is always breaking into the middle of a dirty story.
For example, if you see her approaching your group:
"Reminds me of that terrific story of yours, J.B.— the salesman, the monkey, and the window shade!"
(Laugh wildly. As she comes into earshot, pull your face suddenly into a mask, nudge everyone elaborately, and say:)
"Now about that financial statement, uh—"
After a while, if she doesn't start to crack up, you can give her the coup de grace:
"Now the client wouldn't want me to repeat this, J.B., but he's a man's man, and—"
"What did he say, Strong?"
"Well, fact is he can't speak his mind with women around."
Keep this up and soon the office will be a nicer, pleasanter place in which to work.
BE CONSIDERATE
Once you have taken care of the women executives, you will be left comfortably with the bareheaded women of the office force, women trained to be the hand-maidens of the modern businessman. Select them carefully and treat them well, and your business life will be both rich and happy. Always be considerate. Never demand too much.
"My, five o'clock already! Well, no need to type all those memos tonight, Miss Breasted."
"Oh, thank you, Mr. Strong."
"Any time at all, at your convenience. Just be sure they're on my desk at 8:30 tomorrow morning."
She will appreciate your thinking of her. Keep up morale at all times. Remember, a happy office is an efficient office!
CHIN UP!
And now, as we leave the library and turn once more to living and to life, let us hope that our moments together have made us wiser, broader, and deeper. Those of you who have read these words are now enlisted in our small but growing band of Enlightened Males, spreading our message of hope throughout the world.
If there is one word you can carry with you it is Love and if there is one phrase it is Think of Others—and especially, Think of Women. Some men think of women from morning to night—and they are happy men indeed. Our debt to womankind is greater than we will ever know—and if we can but repay one small fraction of it we shall not have lived in vain.
