Be Unbuttoned
Tucson Dating & Marriage Advice Circa 1950

Being unbut­toned is an attitude, and can be assumed by expert boys with every button firmly buttoned. Women, you will soon learn, have a fetish for neatness in everything but human males. They fidget to see a lit­tered desk or a cluttered living room, but they have a weakness for men who look tousled and unbuttoned.

You must learn, while you are still portable, to be an island of confusion in a sea of tidiness. A smudge on the knee, a smear of lipstick on the forehead, or shoes on the wrong feet—these are all good. The real expert, however, can assume an unbuttoned expression without disturbing a hair. This takes practice, but will be most useful in later years.

BE INCOMPETENT

Women will always like you more for what they do for you than for what you do for them. This is true at any age, and it is well to begin practicing it early. Seem to be a blundering but lovable idiot.

"I'm just all thumbs when it comes to tying ties. Will you help me, Miss Jones? Father says you're such a comfort in the office."
"I'd love to, Davie! Just jump up on my lap."
She may not be able to tie as neat a knot as you can, but you will soon learn there is more in life than well-tied cravats.

BE DEMONSTRATIVE

Women like gestures of open affection. Approach the woman of your choice with a rash and fling your arms around her knees. This area, of course, will rise as you grow taller. Thus you will, in a sense, work your way up. The cuddle or snuggle is effective, too. Land suddenly on the proper lap and hang on.

When you have reached the size at which it is debata­ble who should get on whose lap, you have gone beyond the bounds of this chapter.

BE A BONE OF CONTENTION

Women are always competing with each other. Use this to your advantage. It is never too early to begin. Valuable as it is to put your arms around a woman, it is twice as valuable if another woman is watching. Jealousy will begin to work in the neglected woman.
"Davie, come over here and see what I've got for you!" She will have something interesting and it will differ, as you grow older.