How to Train Your Wife
Tucson Dating & Marriage Advice Circa 1950

Let us assume you have found the ideal girl, or at least one as close to specifications as was available. You are about to embark on the first happy voyage of your married life. Young, star-eyed and full of love you set sail on what must surely be a sea of bliss.

THE GOLDEN TIME

Once married you begin the careless, rapturous days of Just You Two, before you settle down to the serious busi­ness of raising a family. Enjoy these blissful days because they will never return. But remember, these first months were not intended solely for plucking rosebuds. These are the vital months in which the foundations of a marriage are laid.

These are the critical months in the training of a really serviceable wife. Fritter them away if you will and she will be soft and flabby. Use them wisely to toughen her fibres and you will have a helpmate fit and ready to stand by your side in the more trying days to come.

KEEP HER BUSY

Since you will probably move at first into a small apart­ment, your wife may think she has little to do. Show her how mistaken she is.
"Oh, Davie, it's just too sweet!'*
"Glad you like it, Phoebe."
"I'm sure it will simply take care of itself!'*
"Well—"
(Give her a long slow look, as though you were beginning to question the whole marriage.)
"I suppose you could let things slide after a while, Phoeb. Once you get it properly cleaned up, that is. Pretty sorry mess right now, isn't it?"

You will find it is virtually impossible for a man to tell whether or not an apartment has been properly cleaned. It is safe simply to assume that it hasn't been cleaned well enough. The finger method is best for the novice. Wipe one finger on any horizontal surface—table, window sill, book shelf, anything, first making sure that your wife is watch­ing you. Look at the finger just a few seconds, almost absent-mindedly. Shake your head slowly and then shrug your shoulders.
"Davie, what's the matter?"
"Nothing, Phoeb, nothing."
(Never complain.)
"But I spent all day cleaning."
"Good, fine, pet."
(Go over and kiss her on the forehead. Tenderness belongs in every marriage.)
"But I did, Davie!"
"I know, sweet. Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day."
The sideways look at any polished surface, particularly something like a glass-topped coffee table, is almost as effective and makes a nice variation. Try these and make up new ones of your own. Set her going at a good clip and keep her out of trouble. She will be building both muscle and character for the years ahead.

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