Shopping Can Be Dangerous
Tucson Dating & Marriage Advice Circa 1950

Every man's fine sensitivity, acute ear, and volatile nature are crushed by a super market. Science estimates that one hour in a large metropolitan food store can take a week to ten days off a man's life. Your wife may not at first realize this, and it is your duty to her to make this point clear.
The sullen uncooperative attitude will get your no­where. It is far better to use one of our Power Plays often referred to as The Orgy.

The Orgy
The very first time your wife asks you to accompany her to the super market, accept easily and almost ecstatically.
"Will I? You bet I will, Phoeb! Love to!"
(Be eager, bright of eye, brisk and keen. Once inside the market, breathe deeply, and swoop from item to item)
"Davie, you're knocking over the carts!"
"Gosh, Phoeb something happens to me every time I get into one of these places!"
"Put down those jars of pigs' feet!"
"I tell you, I’m going mad! Where's the herring salad?"
"Davie we don't need herring salad."
"Never can tell who's going to drop in. Say, what's this? Liederkranz! Need five, six of these, huh? Haven't had so much fun in years!"
You may be sure your wife won't ask you to the super market again soon. The few dollars you have spent will return to you many-fold in future happiness, and in longer life.

DON'T GIVE UP

Time after time you will be discouraged, again and again you will wonder if your wife can be trained. But if you keep at it you will find your efforts have not been in vain.

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