How to Select the First Wife
Tucson Dating & Marriage Advice Circa 1950

If you are still with us we will assume you have decided to get married. Your problem, then, will be to select your first wife, and to marry her quickly, since she will not have the qualities that make for a suitable fiancée. Before we list the qualities to look for, we had best answer another frequent question:

SHALL I MARRY BENEATH MYSELF?

We must all face this question squarely. Try to look at yourself objectively. Make an honest but accurate estimate of your merits, charms, and abilities. Be sure to tally up your mental qualities, the keen mind that is common to so many males. Add to this sum your basic, simple maleness, which is so fine. You will probably be faced with this fact, as so many men are: you must marry beneath yourself. There is no other direction in which to marry.

The problem usually becomes one of degree. How far beneath you should you marry, and in what direction?

A FIRM HEALTHY BODY

The first wife, as opposed to the fiancée, must be prac­ticable and serviceable. She is neither a toy, an ornament, nor a playmate. She will be your wife during the early, hard years before you can afford a staff of servants. She will serve as mother, cook, housemaid, chauffeur, nurse, and chairwoman. This will allow her, if she is nimble, six or seven hours of sleep a night, ample for a sturdy girl.

It is best, before deciding definitely, to test for firmness. Few of us would consider buying a grapefruit without squeezing it—yet how many make the far more important choice of a close companion in a sloppy, hit-or-miss fashion? Using the thumb and forefinger, exert gentle pressure along certain key muscles. A girl with good muscular tone will wear well and last for years, even if neglected occasionally. She will not tire easily, and will usually maintain a cheerful disposition despite long hours and hard work.
"Davie, you pinched me!"
"Oh, sorry, Phoebe. Must have slipped."
"Well, stop!"
"Have you ever thought of taking a bit more exercise?"

ENDURANCE

Though the fiancée, as we have seen, needs occasional bursts of strength, the first wife must have endurance, must be good over the long haul. There is no known method of testing this accurately, no way of telling by the cut of her jib, so to speak, how she will sail on a long beat to windward.

However, careful observation during times of stress, such as a marathon series of cocktail parties during Christ­mas week, will give some indication. Observe neither the sparkle of personality nor the tinkle of surrounding laugh­ter, but signs of physical deterioration, sagging of the dia­phragm, and abnormal clinging to or leaning upon door jambs or male guests.

DOGLIKE DEVOTION

The fun-loving qualities of the perfect fiancée have no place in the first wife, who will be allowed little time for unproductive merriment. You will be looking for a girl who is earnest, conscientious, and possessed of doglike devotion and a strong sense of duty.

She should be willing to follow you through thick and thin, expecting little, yet happy for every favor you be­stow, grateful for every pat or kind word.

Beware the schemer, the girl who pretends devotion only to trap you into marriage. Simple errands often point the way to the right girl.

"Davie, I spent just hours trying to get City Hall to answer your question. Must have been to twenty departments." (City Hall is an excellent place to test strength of character.)

"Oh? Find the answer, Susie?"
"Well, no, Davie, I didn't, but—"
"Got a permanent today, too, eh?"
{Be quick to note evidence of personal vanity or selfishness.)
"I simply had to—I—"
"Doesn't matter, pet, I don't mind at all."
(No use making an open display of temper.)

Keep looking. No effort is too great, if you are to find the girl of your dreams.

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