Selecting the right fiancées is just as important as selecting the right wife, though you will select them for entirely different reasons. The perfect fiancée seldom makes a good wife, and vice-versa.
What to look for
1. FUN-LOVING QUALITIES
Being engaged should be a mad round of pleasure and fiancées should be picked with this in mind. A merry, even irresponsible attitude on the part of the fiancée should be encouraged—though, as we will discover later, it is the last trait one seeks in the first wife. Find a girl who is good at parties. The two of you will be asked everywhere. But find a girl who can bring real fun to a quiet evening at home, too.
2. SKILL AT GAMES
Choose a girl who is skillful at all the many things a boy and girl can do together. Anyone can buy expensive entertainment, but the couple that can amuse themselves with little or no costly equipment will while away many happy hours.
3. A TALENT FOR DANCING
By all means find a good dancer. Dancing with a skillful girl should be like driving a car with automatic transmission. The man should be in control at all times, and should always steer. Allow yourself to be led and you will lose the respect of your partner. You need only a sturdy, all-purpose two-step, a sense of direction (even when whirled rapidly) and your glittering collection of bons mots. Almost without knowing it you will be doing sambas, rhumbas, tangos, waltzes, fox trots, and mazurkas—and having a mighty good time, too.
4. BURSTS OF STRENGTH
Though the first wife, as we will see, must have endurance and must be good over the long haul, the fiancée is called upon only for short but often violent bursts of effort. For example, you will find that the bachelor apartment needs little regular care. Dusting is a waste of time since dust always settles again. The making of beds, too, is shortsighted, since you only mess them up every time you use them.
However, when mold begins to form, you will be glad you have chosen a sturdy girl.
"Really, David, this is a regular pig pen!"
"Oh, hadn't noticed it, Annie."
"You need somebody to take care of you."
She will come over in her old clothes. While she putters about, it is your duty to keep her amused. A bright story, a snatch of song, and an occasional pat on the head as she scrubs will lighten her task. If you have chosen her carefully, these little bursts of effort will do her good, trim down her figure, and raise her morale. It is well to re-emphasize here our cardinal principle:
A woman loves you not for the things you do for her, but for the things she does for you.
5. ABILITY TO DO WITHOUT SLEEP
During this period you will be planning your career and you will need rest. Choose a fiancée who requires little sleep, especially if she lives far away.
"Good night, David."
"Good night, Fran. Be careful driving home."
"Yes, David. I'll pick you up in the morning."
"Not too early. In time for the game."
The drive, say, to Connecticut and back may be tiring, but if you have picked a firm, healthy girl you need have little worry.
6. CAPITAL GOODS
Though stocks and bonds are worth considering in the future wife, you need make no such inventory of the fiancée. Just make sure she has good physical equipment— say, the use of a convertible, beach house, tennis court, club membership or the like. Are they paid for? This is not your concern. They need only be in good working order.
HER FAMILY CAN HELP
Many young men feel that the fiancée’s mother is a danger spot, to be avoided if possible. This is immature and foolish. Her mother, if properly handled, can be your most valuable ally. Get her on your side.
"Do you mind if I call you 'Mother,' Mrs. Simpkins?"
"Why, no, David, not at all!"
(She will never mind.)
Once you have established yourself as a lovable boy, let her know you are made of solid stuff. Mothers think ahead, into the future. Think with her. -
"She's such a child, Mother Simpkins. Wish you'd help me bring her down to earth. Face realities. Home, little ones—and, one day—a place by the fire for Granny."
A general attack on the whole moral structure will be helpful.
"You've done everything humanly possible, Mother Simpkins. But these days, with Real Values slipping, one can scarcely go through a day without, somehow, a sense of moral outrage."
"Shouldn't people have some fun, David?"
"At whose expense?"
After a bit of this you will be on firm ground.
"Mother, can't I stay out just a little later?" "No. I told you before that—" "But I'm going with David, Mother."
"Oh, well then. I'm sure you'll be all right with David."
