Can I Really Train My Mother
To Like My Pet Spider?
Tucson Dating & Marriage Advice Circa 1950

Can I shape her character? So many of our young readers, unsatisfied with their mothers, probably ask: "Can I improve her character?" The answer is, yes, you can. It is best to concentrate on her mind.

Quiet Her Fears

At one time or another all mothers are frightened. You may find that your mother develops strange unreasoning fears of normal, everyday things like rats, mice, snakes, toads, or spiders—things you play with every day. Do not use these things against your mother, except when you feel you must take strong measures. A fright­ened mother is not an efficient mother, and you both will suffer. Instead, show her she has no real reason to be frightened:
"Here, Mom, just pick him up by the tail. He won't hurt you."
Instill just enough fear so that she will be careful. A fearless mother can be a careless mother, and one that is difficult to control.

Punishment

You may have to punish her from time to time. It will not be pleasant but will result in a better mother. Tears, tantrums and hunger strikes—used to punish mothers for so many years—have little effect today. The best punishment is mental, and the keen lad thinks up a way that will suit his own mother's mind. Night tactics are particularly effective. Wake up at regular intervals during the night, say at one, three, and five a.m. Cry loudly. Soon your mother will answer. You may be either (1) too hot, (2) too cold, (3) hungry, (4) thirsty, or (5) afraid of bad dreams.

The expert, however, prefers the simple meaningless wail, which cannot be disposed of with a "Well, go on down and get some graham crackers," or other suggestions allowing the mother to stay in bed. She will come in on the double.
"What's the matter, Davie?"
"Mother, you look lovely with your hair down!"
(Choose any of her good points. Flattery here is effective.)
"Are you all right?"
"Almost, Mother, almost. Nothing you can do. Just sit here a while with me, will you?"

If she brings you to a psychologist (and she may) it is best to take the fellow aside quietly:
"Yes, Master David?"
"Just wanted to brief you, Doctor. If Mother says anything about howling at night, I pretend / did it. No use frightening her, you know."
"You didn't cry out?"
"Hardly! Ask father."
(You may assume your father will sleep through all this. Fathers always do.)

The doctor will comfort and reassure her. This is what he has been trained for, and what he is well paid to do. Remember, though, that in most cases punishment of any kind is not necessary. Mothers are anxious for ap­proval and will go to considerable lengths to obtain it. Give her the opportunity to please, and then be gen­erous with your praise.

A WORD OF CAUTION

By following these simple rules you can make your mother useful and happy. She will thank you for it. You will not only be saving your strength and soothing your nerves, you will be learning, and many of the lessons learned in helping your mother will be valuable in deal­ing with other women.

However, remember this major difference between mothers and other females: your mother is the only female who will want, from the start, to do something for you. Other women will always begin by wanting you to do something for them. This is why it is so necessary to bring out the mother in all women as soon as possible. It is far easier to do than it sounds. Meanwhile, your body is growing. Make sure your char­acter grows with it!

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