You have only to watch a bargain sale to realize that no woman wants anything unless other women want it, too. Make this principle work for you and not against you. Be sought after by women and — more important—let your wife know it. We can take it for granted that women will pursue you, as they will most men. However, if you aren't outwardly attractive, have no fear. Seeming to be sought after is just as good, as long as you make it convincing.
"Let's cross over here, Phoeb. Don't think she sees me yet."
"Who, Davie?"
"That blonde."
(Always pick the most gorgeous hunk of woman in sight.)
"The minkey one, with the legs?"
"Mmmmmmm-huh. Can't imagine what she sees in me, pet, but she claims she simply turns to jelly when I'm near her. Lord knows, I don't encourage it, any more than I do with the others."
Office parties will give you other opportunities.
"Have to go, Phoeb, much as I hate it. You don't know what it is to fight off four or five girls at once. Let them get one mouthful of liquor and they just swarm over me. Have to pick 'em off like leeches. What are you going to do? Some people just radiate sex, and I guess I'm one of the unlucky guys." If actual demonstration is necessary, and if you're unable (or unwilling) to draw adoring women, certain types will be of help.
1. The Myopic
This common type cannot see two feet in front of her, yet is unwilling to wear glasses at parties.
First make sure your wife is watching, but at a distance. Then approach the myopic one and say "Darrr-ling!" in a stage whisper. She will turn on you a look of love and affection that will last until you come into focus.
Retreat rapidly, and if you are nimble you can create an impression not only of love and affection, but of physical pursuit. Fade into the mist and rejoin your wife.
"Did you see that, Phoeb?"
"I certainly did, David. Downright blatant."
"I got away, thank goodness. You appreciate my problem, though."
2. The Co-worker
There is magic in proximity and daily association. Women who work side by side with you cannot help coming under your spell, especially if you control their salaries or can throw business their way. They will like you for yourself, but it is difficult to make many wives believe this. In fact, if you encounter a co-worker at a public gathering, allow her to make the usual display of affection, but do not reveal the relationship to your wife.
"Little embarrassing, I know, Phoeb."
"Who is that woman, David?"
"Please, darling!"
(Take on a wounded expression.)
"Let's not discuss it, shall we? It all happened before I met you. She never got over it, poor kid."
3. The Discerning
Some women are keener judges of character than others. They can see through your tough veneer, can find the real you that lies beneath. They can be forgiven for their occasional displays of emotion. These women will surprise you with the accuracy of their judgment of your character, though—if you overhear them—you may be amused to find they heap the most shameless flattery on other men.
"Davie, I saw you give me that gorgeous, beamin' smile. I just went all a-twitter, I did! You are the most charmin', lovable man!"
Let your wife overhear this and she will appreciate you all the more.
