Part VIII
Sampler of safeties to
consider before dating

Be Sure Your Privacy is Protected

Internet dating sites are very secure. The information you supply to the service you join should be completely confidential. Of course, if you only want to look and read, you don't need to join or provide any information. If you do join, however, your registration details must be secured, and under no circumstances made available to employees of the service, other members, or any third party. Make sure of this policy. No member of the Internet dating service staff should ever ask you for your password, and they must not be allowed to use any of your contact or email details for marketing purposes. Any members who match you with a search can only see what you have written in your public personal profile. So don't include your personal email address or phone number in the text of your profile or in your emails until you're positive that you would like to take your interaction a step further. Internet dating websites customarily cannot access your emails to other members, nor do they have any control on what information you provide for other members. Lastly, if you're in contact with a person who is clearly reluctant to give away any information over time, look for other negative indicators. Stopping problems sooner is much easier than later.

Trust Yourself and Listen to Your Inner Voice

It's no crime to be wanted. We all want that. We all want someone to pay attention to us, not ignore us, or what we say. So it’s relatively easy to get carried away when someone appears to be interested in us. But don't forget the rule: if you suspect a problem, you are most likely correct. You've spent your life honing your skills, now trust your judgment. Listen to what you are being told by your intended suitor AND by that inner voice. Ask as many questions as you need to in order to feel comfortable and safe. "Trade" details – tit for tat. Don't tell all about yourself, including personal contact information, and then be angry when the other person doesn't respond in kind. If someone is being honest with you, they'll proudly, happily tell you about themselves, and their lives.

Something that you should never forget while you dabble in Internet dating: make sure that you are enjoying yourself! Never allow anyone to pressure you, or be abusive or discourteous. If you don't want to explain something, or provide certain details, then just don't. A real friend, or anyone you could be interested in spending your life with, will behave in a patient, understanding manner. When you get that much anticipated response or introductory email, read it, read it again, and then read it once more. Really think about what, exactly, you are being told. Listen and learn! Try to feel out and 'sense' the person behind the email you're reading. And be sure to also read their profile – completely and thoroughly.

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