Part VI
A Few Simple Tips for Safe and Sound Internet Dating

Naturally, you'll need to rely heavily on your personal sense of judgment, but here are some simple tips that might help keep you safer while you participate on line, and make your decisions about how to proceed.

• Start slow When you're dating over the Internet, watch out for someone who seems too good to be true. Begin by first communicating solely via email. Use the anonymous email address provided by the service you join until you're comfortable. Be on the lookout for odd behavior or inconsistencies. "Listen" to your correspondent's words. The 'cyber' person at the other end may not be who or what he or she says they are. It's time to trust your instincts. If something happens that makes you uncomfortable, walk away.

• Guard your anonymity Don't include your last name, personal email address, a personal site URL, home address, phone number, place of work, or any other identifying information in your profile. Apply this same rule to initial emails you exchange with other members. Make sure your email program's "auto-signature feature" is turned off, or does not include identifying information, when corresponding with a member via your own email.

• Seriously consider terminating your communications with anyone who pressures you for the information listed above. Be very wary of any attempts to trick you into revealing the information listed above. Take all the time you need to become comfortable with someone before sharing any personal contact information with them. Don't be afraid to ask questions — and be sure that you are genuinely satisfied with the answers. Again, be sure to trust your instincts! Especially at the beginning, participate cautiously, and be as selective as you want. There are loads of people on these services.

• Caution and common sense rule Careful, deliberate, well thought out decisions will almost invariably lead to better results in all dating venues. And with Internet dating, this is at least as prudent an approach. Guard yourself against inadvertently trusting those you shouldn't trust. How will you know the difference? Any suitor should be ready to earn your trust gradually through consistently forthright interaction and behavior. You need to take all the time you need to get to know this person. There is no real test for a trustworthy person, but if you're cautious and use common sense – and trust those instincts – you'll be fine. Remember, always pay careful attention all during the process.

• Conservative is good take a reserved and conservative approach to trusting anyone you meet on the Internet. If you think someone is being dishonest or misrepresenting themselves, they probably are. So do what you need to do. Then you can quit wasting time, and move on to someone you may ultimately be able to fully trust. Be your own best friend and conduct yourself in a responsible manner. Don't fall for anyone who writes to you, or answers you. And falling in love at the click of a mouse never works. Your morality and ethics are your own, but for safety avoid becoming prematurely intimate or sexual with someone – even if it's just when online.

• Always request a photo Most personal ads on the Internet now have photos attached, but not all. If you're interested in an ad without a photo, go ahead and ask for one, after expressing your interest in an introductory email. A photo gives you an idea of the person's appearance – several pictures are even better. Make no mistake about it, romantic relationships are largely about chemistry and physical attraction. A picture can at least help make basic determinations. Some people simply can't tolerate certain physical attributes such as large noses, wide set eyes, baldness, short hair, tattoos, long hair – you get the idea. And it really is immeasurably better to view several photographs, even if they span several years. Try to get a glimpse of your intended date in varying settings. Casual, athletic, formal, activity, professional, indoor, outdoors and other settings will affect the way a person appears, and will yield a well rounded, more complete picture of how they look. If the person you're emailing continuously has excuses fro not having a picture, you should be suspect. Getting a photo on line is now quite inexpensive, so there really is no excuse not to have at least one. If you know you're going to date on the Internet, get several 'happy snaps' of yourself ready to upload.

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