Part II
Meeting That Special Someone

Just before starting on this installment of this series, I went on the Internet and searched three large dating services for single women between the ages of 25-35, living within a 50-mile radius of Tucson, Arizona – I also stipulated to only return results for those members who had pictures in their profiles. I got back a total of 1,139 women. Doing the same for men, I got back 962 profiles. Not bad for ten minutes of looking. I know there's not anywhere in Tucson I could have found this many people within the parameters of my search tonight…

Going through the steps that take you from anonymous email exchanges to getting an actual in-person date can be very exciting. But from the moment of initial attraction, starting from a look at their picture, to automated "flirting," and then emails, and finally the telephone – it takes time to build trust. And trust is really the key to getting to a first real date or even casual face-to-face meeting. It's very important to take your time – for physical and emotional safety.

Five Practical (basic) Tips:

1. Talk on the phone before meeting in person. Ok, the other person's picture looks great, and the emails have gone well. Now take some time getting to know the other person on the phone. It may be that they look great, send nice emails, but are hard to understand, or sound like "something's not right." Pay attention to your instincts. Talk to them on the phone, at least a few times, before agreeing to meet them in person. When you do agree to meet the first time, do so in a very public place.
2. Here are some questions to get started with. 1) What do you like to do on your in your free time? 2) Do you like to go out a lot, or mostly stay home? 3) What do you like best about someone you're dating? 4) When you eat out, where do you like to go, and what foods do you prefer? (This last one can is great in Tucson because there are so many restaurants offering so many food types.)
3. Ask important things upfront. After a few emails and a couple of phone calls, you may be ready to meet your new romantic interest in person. But it's up to both of you. If they are evasive or seem hesitant to meet you, ask them why. It may just be that they're shy – many people are. As long as you can phone them without problems, that may be fine. But, also look for obvious red flags. (Example: is it a cell phone number? No home number may mean the person is married, or otherwise committed.
4. You may want to ask them upfront, how they'd like to go about this first meeting. This is courteous, and also provides a chance for you to see what their ideas are. After talking on the phone a few times, you should know whether or not you'd like to meet. Make plans, in a safe public place. Then, have fun meeting them at a Tucson restaurant, club, coffee shop, or even the mall.
5. Beginning a new romance is both thrilling, but it's also a time of uncertainty. Try planning on finding a person who's both a friend, and someone you’re physically and psychologically attracted to. Getting from a photo and description, to "first contact" by email, then to phone call, and then to meeting in person can be lots of fun. Remember though, being ready to meet someone also means you may need to adjust your schedule. Dating takes up time. That's the way it is when you add a new person in your life!

How often should you contact your new friend? That really depends (I know, not much help). On the one hand, you don't want to seem overly desperate. Then again, you don't want them to think you're not interested or that you lack enthusiasm for dating. Finding a perfect middle ground depends on what each person feels comfortable with. Remember, one person may want to send emails twice a week, while another prefers every day. People expect a response to occur within the time frame of the contact: if they write everyday, you should, or you should explain why you don't. Tell the truth! Each person expresses himself or herself differently, and works on a different schedule. Some people, for example, simply are not comfortable writing, and some don't like speaking in the phone. Some people have children and multiple obligations which limit their time to date. You be sensitive to such things – and so will they.

A good rule of thumb is to respond to emails and phone calls within twenty-four hours. Especially in the beginning, before you know each other very well, over-eagerness and enthusiasm can be interpreted as "weird" or "stalker-like."

Now, get out there and meet that special someone – he or she is waiting to meet you right now! In fact, they're looking too.

Read part three >>

	Enter your search terms Submit search form
	Web www.dotcomtucson.com